Time To Be Alone (working title maybe)
by ShaMaiMai
Summary: Just a little sad rant thing from Merlin to be honest. Thinking about continuing, but not sure. Merlin is just really amazing and I really needed to write this. We'll see what happens I guess -
1. Chapter 1

**A/N- Heyyyyy guys. So I've gotten a lot of emails on my Frozen story and a few on my Fruits Basket one. Really sorry about all that ^-^' Been really super busy lately and haven't had time to write anything until now. Heh, sorry it's not what you asked for. I'll get to those just as soon as I can, promise :)**

 **But seriously. I watched Merlin and I am forever in love. And a little way too obsessed. I never watch TV so this was new for me but oh my Lord! Merlin T-T most heartbreakingly beautiful thing I have ever seen.**

 **So anyway, hope you guys like this cause it made me sad x) Poor Merlin...**

Prologue (Hopefully anyway)

Life can be lonely.

We all feel it... that nagging in the back of our mind, the pull in our heart. Something whispering when your thoughts can't find another distraction. Something telling you that there's more.

Maybe there are people out there who have found it. Who am I to categorize all the world as still searching. Who am I to say that everyone feels this same ache that I have. No one. I am no one. Maybe you have found what your heart was born craving. Maybe somehow the void has evaded you.

How fortunate those blessed must be...

I was someone once. I had found my destiny; where I belonged. The darkness that had surrounded me growing up had finally dispersed to show a brilliant light that I could never have imagined. A beautiful gift that I treasured more than anything. Though perhaps I hadn't treasured it quite enough. Maybe that is why I wasn't able to keep hold on it.

Ah. Well there's no point in remembering or regretting something from the past that can never be changed, is there? Ha, I suppose that is one lesson I keep learning time after time.

There is no going back. No restarts or magic what-ifs. Life is lonely. Fate relishes in the sorrow of our lost. Why else would it give us something more special than anything we could have ever brought upon ourselves, only to strip it away in the cruelest ways possible.

Why?

Ah, but it doesn't matter. There's no point in it anymore.

Depressing, aren't I?

It wasn't always like this. There was a time when I knew how to joke... how to smile... how to care about the ones around me. Something happened long ago that took those abilities away from me, and there's nothing I can do about it. Can't even run away from it. Heh... sad isn't it? Stuck here, to forever live out this lonely life. I'm stuck here to watch as time goes on and on without... to go on. Watching happy faces live their lives, not knowing it can never last. It never does. Not for anyone.

You're lucky though. Eventually it all ends for you. You enjoy your happy times, suffer through your depressions, and then it all ends. You can leave it all behind you, disappear into whatever is waiting on the other side.

Not me. I don't know why. I'm stuck here, unable to get away, unable to just escape the pain and fear that crippled me for years. No... no matter how much I beg or how many ways I try. Death evades me as if afraid. As if even the grimm reaper himself has seen the darkness left behind inside me, and it scares even him. Oh, how I would welcome death. It has taken everyone I care about. Why? Why! Who do you run from me? I have nothing left here!

Please... I just want to be with him again.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N- So I was like half asleep when I posted that last bit, so I do apologize. And what fun, half asleep posting this bit too! What can I say? Too tired to do anything else but write :p So, uh, enjoy heheh**

 **Don't own merlin or anything of course. And wasn't really expected it to go this way... but ah well, never can tell what I'm gonna do when i'm tired ;p**

"Don't be stupid! You barely even know him, just come on already!" The boy shouted, desperation clear in his cracking voice. Damp hair shivering in front of him as his entire body shook from a nervous fit. After everything they had been through that day, it wasn't really much of a surprise that he react in such a way. Was the way of mortals, ya know. Fight or flight instincts kicking in.

"No!" Was the screaming reply, forced with a ferocity that shocked them both.

"How can you say that? After everything that's happened, and only since he arrived? Leave him there, it's the only thing you can do!"

Fierce blue eyes met his own, staring into his soul so intensely he wasn't sure this was the person he had grown up with as a child. It was like something in his friend had been awakened, after all these years of watching the world through kind eyes that never seemed capable of much emotion at all.

"I will not leave him. Go ahead and run if you have to, but if he dies, then I will die here with him."

Never would he have expected such a grave response from his childhood friend. What was it about this stranger that made Arthur become so intense? His friend had just looked him in his face, no doubt in those intimidating blue eyes, and claimed such a frightening statement?

"But why? You don't even know him! Please." His words evolving from hysterics to a somber begging.

"Because... I know him. I know I can't explain it, and it makes no sense, but I do. There's something about him. He's the only one who can tell me who I am, and... now that I've met him... I don't think I can live on without him."

"Fine. If there's nothing I can say to convince you." The boy muttered darkly, turning his head away in frustration, making a move for the door. His feet froze, though, his body refusing to leave his best friend behind. "I'll help you get him out."

Giving in, he let the air out of his lungs in defeat, turning back towards them. The stranger laid sprawled on the dusty floor, black hair matted to his forehead with blood, hand being held by the person who had just saved his life with their stubbornness.

A smile came to his friends face, blue eyes lighting up with relief and gratitude before they turned back to the unconscious body laying before them.

"Don't worry Merlin, we'll get you out of here."

Before they could pick him up together, though, the stranger began to stir. Moaning, his eyes fluttered opened before landing on Arthur. A huge grin graced his face at first, before his expression flickered into utter confusion. So many emotions toiling in those fearfully deep eyes.

"But why... why are you... how can you be a... a girl?" He rasped out before collapsing once again.

Arthur laughed nervously, looking up at her friend as they lifted Merlin off the ground.

"Guess the name confuses everyone, huh?"


End file.
